I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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