When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
