Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
