turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
