Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
