Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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