Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
