i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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