I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
