I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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