Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
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We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
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Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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