A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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