wake up i wanna do it froggy style
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
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There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
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We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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