I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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