Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
