wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
