Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize