Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
