Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
