You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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