we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize