The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
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Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
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I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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