i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
