So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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