biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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