Hey man sorry I got all grabby
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
