You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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