My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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