thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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