My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
