worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just pee around me
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
