apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
