I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
