You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
