You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I am one with the molecules
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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