Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I looked at my own cervix.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
