Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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