Me too!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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