so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
