Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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