When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
