Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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