Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
it was like eating out sand paper
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
