btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
