I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
