He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
