I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
