Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
