your thong is hanging out like whoa
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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