spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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