They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I didn't notice because vodka
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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