Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Randomize
