help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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