He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize