I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize