don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Also, beer. Big fan.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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