GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
