i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
