I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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