I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
