im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
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I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
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I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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