Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
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It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
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I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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