i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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