He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
