a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
