Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I got chris browned last night
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
