She is in my trunk
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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