Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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